Monday, September 29, 2008

Stop asking

There is a fine line between people in one's life being interested in their life and just being noisy or pushy. I think the questions of (to an unengaged couple) when are you getting married and the question of when are you having kids can titer on this line most of the time. Sure my friends with kids have asked this, likely because they want to have someone to hang out with that has kids they want to share in the joy of child rearing, but you only have to ask this question once. Why do people ask over and over again?
Maybe I'm just starting to feel judged because I have been married for 5 years and having kids isn't something I think about every day. Sure one day but not today and not tomorrow and likely not this year. And maybe I'm thinking about this issue again because as I discussed my upcoming 30th birthday with my mother she remind me that my eggs were running out. I had to remind her that she was 38 when she got pregnant with my sister.

So please, please stop asking me about babies and making me tell you again and again the reasons why I'm not currently interested in bringing a new life into this world that will be my sole responsibility and focus of my life because pretty soon I'm going to start making shit up.

Also I don't have a job yet. You don't need to keep asking about this either because it will be a joyous day and I will want to call and e-mail everyone I know. I will not hide this fact from you and wait for you to bring it up in conversation.

/end rant

9 comments:

ScienceGirl said...

I hear you. If someone asks me one more time when I am graduating...

Amanda said...

I'm right there with you. I've started answering the kid question with: "After that accident in the lab, the doctors have advised me not too." It completely surprises me how often such a personal question gets asked (that along with the graduation one).

Anonymous said...

Uncomfortable questions abound! We haven't mentioned the grant situation although usually most of your friends have no idea why those might be important. Questions on job searching can be equally uncomfortable if asked repeatedly.

B said...

Hi, I found you via Unbalanced reaction and I've enjoyed reading your posts! The baby question and graduation question is difficult to hear over and over. I guess it never ends (you graduate, they ask about jobs; you get married they ask about babies...) What do they ask when you are married w/ kids and have a job?

Jennie said...

What do they ask when you are married w/ kids and have a job? .... When are you going to buy a house! We are actually already getting this question.

Glad to hear I'm not the only one annoyed by repeating probing questions.

Psych Post Doc said...

I've been married 8 years. I so hear your pain.

microbiologist xx said...

When I get married in Feb., I will have been with L for 11 years. I am so glad I will never get asked "when are you guys going to get married?" I know the kids question is next, but I am hoping that I get a short reprieve.

Katie W said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unbalanced Reaction said...

Yikes, how tacky.