Semantics

One frustration I have with the writing process is the revisions I get back from my adviser. It is difficult for me to discern if he has made a change based on preference or based on clarity. At times I have trouble believing what he has written is better, especially when he decides to change something he wrote in the first place. I understand that writing is a dynamic process and a manuscript, or any written work, can never truly be finished-a sentiment shared by Ecogeofemme. There is always a different way to present your ideas, plot your data, ect. However, as a graduate student and someone who has always struggled with writing I have trouble learning from this process. How can I become a better writer if I don’t know what my adviser really thinks is good? I tend to feel that everything I do is wrong because I have struggled with writing for so long and have deemed myself no good at it. I’ve gotten to the point where I wish he wouldn’t change sentences that are clear and only change sentences which make no sense. This I feel would help my confidence, i.e. knowing that what I wrote wasn’t “wrong” and help me become a better writer by helping me identify what I’m doing correct and what really needs changing.

I think that lab work is manageable because you know what needs to be done to feel finished, even though things can go wrong and you may have to redo experiments, lab work is always a fixed goal. Unlike writing, which can go on forever and seems to be doing so. I long ago decided I am more of a doer than a thinker. I love to do tasks like lab and field work. I do love making plots, analyzing data and making presentations. I feel those are tasks, even writing an abstract feels like a task, i.e. it has a limit and a deadline. But sitting down to write a paper feels like more than my personality can take.

On a positive another note I submitted a short letter to big name journal this week-end. It is the data that I was known for at the December conference. I’m guessing it will get rejected but at least it should be quick and painless and It got rejected and I know who I’ll turn around and resubmit to. I was amazed that my coauthors had very little comments, except adviser-of course- and I think thought my cover letter was convincing that this data is of interest to a larger reader base.

I also finished manuscript 2 today and sent it to my coauthors. I debated if I should send it to adviser first or to both coauthors at the same time. I’ve completely changed it due to coauthors suggestions but I have this feeling that I don’t mind looking “dumb” in front of my adviser but would hate to send a sub par manuscript to coauthor from another university. It can also be confusing to get contradictory comments from your coauthors. However I decided to take my husbands advise, which is, THIS IS MY MANUSCRIPT. So I’ll see what the coauthors think of it and if the comments aren’t major I’ll fix it up and submit it without them looking at it again.

Up and at em’

My husband said something this morning while I was still asleep along the lines of “its as cold as it’s ever been,” meaning our outdoor thermostat was somewhere around -1degF. I mumbled something about what time was it. It was 630am. Wow I thought I have 30 minuets of internet* time and I really need to go to Web of Science and look up those refs to finish this manuscript. SO I got out of bed. I put my robe on, grabbed some water and was online by 637. In addition to getting all my references and checking my e-mail I opened all the new entries from Google reader so I could read them later when my internet was off line and the coffee was made. Husband even turned on the hot water pitcher so I could make coffee. He likes it when I wake up early and honestly it’s nice to see him in the mornings. Also, it’s only 11am and I’ve both finished my manuscript*** and answered the questions for the position** I’m applying to. And my second load of laundry is in the drier. Damn, and I also juiced carrots and made banana bread. Working from home can rock.

**I’ve noticed this week that my dream job, in dream place is open. It’s at a federal institution where I worked while an undergrad and for a year after my bachelors. But it seems I’m one year behind their requirements.

Question 1 makes sure you have your Ph.D. or equivalent work experience. The problem is that the deadline to apply is Friday and I’m pretty sure one is suppose to meet the requirements before applying, as it states this somewhere. But I checked that I had phd as my CV states when I’ll get it.

Question 2
In addition to meeting the Basic Education Requirement, you must have professional experience. Select the one response below which best describes your experience.
1. I have 1 year of professional experience in the field of -ology equivalent to the -11 level. Examples of such experience may include planning and executing complex -ologic studies that usually involved intensive investigations into recognized phenomena; applying conventional methods & techniques (going beyond clear precedents); and adapting methods to the problems at hand and interpreting findings in terms of their scientific significance.
2. I do not meet the requirement as described above.

Basically I feel that this (answer 1) was all I did for my graduate work, yet that was covered by question 1. I’m pretty sure, again I don’t quite qualify. I’m still applying (actually I've applied).

The position says that they have one position open but may open up other positions. So I’m crossing my fingers that they see how awesome I am and decide to hire me at a level lower, the 11 instead of the 12.

**Manuscript 1
As I mentioned above, I finished a manuscript this morning, although every time I read it I rewrite portions and think of new figures, but I swear I’m only going to read it one more time before sending it to my adviser (actually it's sent).

Initially this was going to be a short communication/letter about this awesome spike we see in the data but coauthor said to just include all the other data, as it’s an uniquely large data set, and make one large paper. I thought sure this will make life simpler but now that it’s all together I feel like this awesome spike is lost in the data. So I’m debating the letter again and will see what co author and adviser think.

I’m also thinking of submitting this paper to a new sub-journal of a major impact journal but I don’t think the writing is concise enough. Hopefully adviser will help with this. First I just want him to see the paper because we haven’t discussed a lot of this data yet.

This manuscript also has four tables and four figures. One of the figures has six plots, wow! As I said I keep thinking of new figures and new tables. I think two of the tables would do fine as supplementary tables but all of the figures are unique. I tried to just include two of the plots on the six plot figure but then I just said these other plots are similar to these two plots but different. That didn’t seem good enough so I just decided to dump everything in and then see what co authors think. This is a major dilemma for all my manuscripts and talks. I have too many FIGURES and it’s not that I’m repeating data in a different way it is actual data that supports the study. It’s so difficult to decide what is most important. . . .. I guess that is why there are co authors and reviewers.

* In addition to getting up early I worked more last night after dinner. I’ve still been having slight troubles falling asleep but I think it’s because there is so much on my mind.

I installed the MeeTimer on my laptop and am interested to see how that works for me while in dissertation town where the internet is endless (read excitement). Then I think when I get back to Midwest I’m going to request my husband change and increase my internet time. It’s getting a little frustrating that when I want to do actual work online I can’t, although I told my friend that I just write a list of things when I think of them and she commented how it was cool that my time online was structured-good point. Also I tend to even run out of things to do during my hour’o’internet. Also, the timing is not very evenly spread out. No internet from 7am to 1:15pm-6 hours 15 mins, then my next break is 2:30 to 615pm- a little less than four hours. The time was initially set since I would meet with my adviser online during that time in the afternoon. I’ll set up a time with adviser for this semester when I see him next week. He’ll likely want a similar time so I’m thinking that I’d just increase the middle time period to start at noon. Then I can browse while I eat lunch.

It would look like this:
Midnight-7am INTERNET
7am-Noon NONE (5 hour break)
Noon-2:30 INTERNET
2:30-6:15 NONE (less than 4 hour break)
6:15-8:00 INTERNET

I think this is a pretty good schedule.

This was a pretty diverse blog entry but I felt there was much to discuss. Hope I didn’t ramble too much.

Theme

I was talking with my husband about a manuscript of mine, another one that I have to totally rewrite, and he said something very interesting. He said hIS advisor once told him that “if you don’t work has hard as you can nothing will ever get done.” Just how hard is “as hard as you can?” I mean should one take time to rest, eat and exercise, let alone time for leisure. Statements like these startle me, but if anyone would say something like this I would expect it to be my husband’s former PhD adviser. Just to put him in context, he is likely in his early 50’s, Australian born-US (dual) citizen, married to a women of the same nationality-citizenship, without children and he had a few different positions in industry before being a professor, the professor position he didn’t apply for-he was solicited for. He is very well known in his field. He host really great parties, tells lots of fun stories about him being drunk and he use to play rugby (my favorite part about him).

But I digress . .. . I don’t want my husband to turn into this guy (except for the fun party part). I want my husband to work hard but to then come home and relax. He is always thinking about work, at least in my opinion. I have often thought that I need some more of my husband’s dedication and he needs some of my ability to goof off.

I also want to work hard but currently don’t think I am doing this. I’m easily distracted and easily discouraged. I define working hard as focusing your thoughts and energy to a given cause at a given time, so then, the time I’ve designated to work is roughly 8am-630pm (minus lunch break and exercise break, about 2 hours total) and during this time I should be completely focused on my goal *to publish manuscripts and graduate* although a better goal would be *to understand my topic of research and contribute knowledge to the scientific community*

Can you see how different these two goals are? I had a very interesting conversation with my husband’s uncle over the holidays. We talked about how I am a very goal orientated person and I can get fixated on a goal and get frustrated when it doesn’t get met, i.e. submitting a paper but the coauthors keep wanting to change it. He made a very good point that I understand in concept but is difficult to implement since I am goal orientated. He said if one focuses on doing the best you can at each task that gets you to the goal then you can get that task done and accomplished and move on to the next task and viola, once all the tasks are done you have met your goal. I guess this is something like living in the moment and not thinking too far ahead into the future.

I had started this post indenting to talk more about this manuscript that needs to be rewritten but I will save that for another time and instead choose a theme for 2008 like other bloggers have done before me.

**TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT**

Graduate Student-0==Distinguished Professor-Infinity

Yep, the adviser won the argument again. The fact is that I think he’s pretty meager I just have a bad time arguing my point because I’m not 100% confident that I’m correct, and my adviser makes such good points.

Me: I’d really like to graduate soon
Him: No need to rush, no one is going to care how long it took you, and how long have you been here?
Me: Almost 6 years
Him: Well it takes most students 7 years when they get their masters along the way

I know think I set him up to make up an arbitrary number after he heard how long I’ve been here

Me: I think the paper is ready to resubmit
Him: I think it needs more figures
Me: The reviews said we had too many figures and tables
Him:Well we can’t sacrifice the good of the paper for an arbitrary figure number, besides most people just glance through the paper and look at the figures. Even if someone decides they don’t like your model you have so much data here, more than most (any) other manuscripts on this nature. The papers good for that, so focus on that more.
Me: True

Me: I’m loosing my motivation and feel like nothing has been accomplished this past year
Him: What are you talking about? You collected all that marvelous data that professor at other university said was great and you got the almost invited talk at big conference and instead of submitting a short communication coauthor said WOW this is great data make a full publication
Me: Yeah, I guess
Me: I want to graduate
Him: These things take time don’t rush we are making fine wine here
Me: Well maybe you have time for fine wine but I’m happy with cheap wine. I’m not trying to be hasty or lazy I would just like to graduate
Him:In good time, in good time. . . .

We also discussed the weather, the holiday party I missed, my talk for big conference (he won’t be there) and my next visit back to dissertation town.

My adviser said he was happy with my progress and my writing is getting better (I asked him about it). He loves to tell examples of really famous people who get crappy reviews and students who complain about how long things are taking but then get big awards for papers.

I feel like I got my point across, and that my point is wrong. But I’m happy I got it off my chest. My hopes for a May graduation are down the drain yet I’m still going to keep trucking along and see how things go.

I’m happy my adviser had actually read the paper before the meeting. I should have said that to him. We will meet online again after the big conference next week and I foresee the paper resubmitted this year. He said he’d like to see it again before I resubmit but finals are the week of the 17^th so hopefully now that he’s heard my side of the story he’ll be efficient and give me feedback quickly.

GOAL: E-mail adviser revised version of manuscript by Dec9th before I fly to conference state. I think this is a reasonable goal, 3 or so days.

It's over

The writing challenge is over. I didn't want to see my word bar up in the corner anymore but didn't feel like deleting it. So here it is.
I'm happy with my progress. I didn't meet my goal but I think I got a lot more done this month than I would have without the challenge.
Check out the results of the competition here.




Now it's time to move on and move forward. I need to convince my adviser that the resubmit is ready and that I'd like to do this before the Dec. conference, which I leave for on Sunday Dec. 9th. I mention this in our meeting last Tuesday and he said it wasn't possible, but I'm done with making his changes and I def. think it's ready. Wish me luck in changing his mind. It's been four months since we got the acceptance with revisions letter and although it is an entirely new paper and I'm glad we've made the changes we really need to be done with it already. It's hard to say this without sounding like you are being lazy but enough is enough.

Progress

I'm tired of counting words. It's getting complicated. I'm at 49% and you think I could not give up and count enough to make it to 50% but I'm done. With that said, I am really happy with my progress this past month. I didn't make the exact goals I had hoped for but I've gotten a lot of writing done, most of it revisions which makes counting difficult.
I've actually done a lot of work putting together my dissertation which I didn't think I'd start until January, but since I'm waiting for other people on my publications I thought I might as well do some of it (since I needed to increase my word count). I'd like to show my outline here and mention how much I've done (to pat myself on my back). The outline was only written in October.

Ch. 1 INTRODUCTION (isn't it always).
This is finished! Granted some was cut and pasted from manuscripts I'm working on and/or edited from my masters thesis but still. It is five pages and has three sections. It could likely be longer but each individual chapter will have have an intro. so this is just basic info and you know the summary about what the dissertation is about. The first section is background info about the hydrogeology of the study area. The second two sections are info about the two major groundwater contaminants I work with, so heath impacts, sources of contamination, ect. You can always put in more info about other peoples work but I feel like I've summarized pretty good and included the major review papers.
Ch 2. Contaminant #1
This has four subsections, three of which are going to be publications. So once those are done I'll cut and paste and format into dissertation. The last subsection I've written this past week. I didn't think it was going to be enough data for a manuscript but now that I've written it up I'm thinking it could be. It's only the second data set of it's kind on this contaminant so I think it deserves to get out there. But I'll wait until the other papers have been submitted and then think about it again.
Ch 3. Major chemistry of contaminant #1 and #2 sources.
This is more of an appendix style chapter. I've written the text, it's about a page, and will make the tables once the last of the data comes in. Part of this is the manuscript I'm resubmitting. So I refer to it but again this is more of a look at all this data, maybe somebody later can use it in a different way than I have, and most of the data has been interpreted in other sections.
Ch 4. About contaminant #2
I wrote the text for this today up until the results section. That's when things get hard :) This is a continuation of my master's thesis. Where the masters had a years worth of data this is four years of data, plus some changes to the study sites, so new data. It's really interested but maybe not publishable since I've been told it's only important locally and doesn't have a broad impact. Most of this data analysis has been done for abstracts but I need to think about it again and organize my thoughts better before I write the results and discussion. I will likely try to submit it once life has settled. There is a local journal I submitted the master's thesis data to.

Ok, then there is a nice conclusion/summary chapter and of course the abstract of the dissertation. These are things that will be completed last so they aren't on the radar yet.

I feel great. Thanks InaDWriMo.

Writing

So it's obvious I won't make my InaDrWriMo goal and I'm ok with that. I'm at 8% now, I'm aiming for 50% by Nov. 30th. Although resubmit should be um, resubmitted by then-see below.

I just got off my internet meeting with adviser and he said if I give him a draft of our resubmit tomorrow night he will read it over the week-end. I had to ask this but I'm glad he said yes. We told the journal it should be completed by the end of the month. I am also happy with the analysis of our newest data. Initially I was upset and hated our model and thought new data didn't fit, and it doesn't give us the same exact result but a similar one and still has an interesting conclusion. I also feel so much better now that I've propagated error for these crazy model equations with eight variables each. Some of the errors are pretty big but some are not. So I've revised the intro and lengthly methods and deleted the results section to just start fresh. I guess I could count these words as part of my progress, and I might, but it's hard to asses written words on a revise. This resubmit wasn't even included in my goals, so I've spent a lot of time this month not working on InaDrWriMo.

I'm still waiting for data on manuscript "1"
Still haven't gotten back manuscript "2"
And as previously mentioned I didn't analyze all samples needed for manuscript "3" and I just heard that lab tech won't likely analyze forgotten samples by conference time. They may just have to wait until I go back to dissertation town in January. Poor forgotten samples :(
Although I'd like to have my completed data set for manuscript "3" there is def. more I can still write while I'm waiting for these samples. It's a very big manuscript with two to three sub stories.

Oh and I wanted to comment about how amazing my home made salad just was. Spring mix, raisins, walnuts, hummus, cooked red potato and balsamic vinegar/olive oil/garlic homemade dressing. Yummy, I may go make some more.

More words

Yesterday felt very productive. I wrote 289 words in my dissertation and am up to 711 words in manuscript #3. I think internet free fridays are going to be a great idea.
I also have lots of blog reading to keep myself busy this saturday afternoon. After I catch up it's back to writing!

Words

I finally opened my document (manuscript 3) to start writing! I wrote 173 words in the introduction, which is a little more than one paragraph. I decided I needed to remind myself of the pertinent literature and along the way came across a really cool taping of legislation discussing EPA's lack of setting a drinking water standard on the contaminant I'm working on. EPA was accused of slacking off and increasing the reference dose due to lobbying from DOD. It was very interesting to listen to. That took about 2 hours of my day.
But really why has EPA taken more than 10 years to take a stand on this contaminant? I understand if you set a standard too low, too soon it can cost a lot of money to clean up the contaminant which may not be necessary, but shouldn't we err on the side of being too cautious for the safety of public health, especially when standards are set to protect infants and pregnant women or sensitive populations?

Yesterday I finished making my presentation for the Dec. conference, which I'm sure will change more as I continue to practice the talk and as I write the corresponding manuscript. I'm also hoping for a few more analysis to include. But these analysis are being performed by others so I just need to cross my fingers.

I have been pretty productive this week but decided to ask the hubby to turn off the internet tomorrow so I will have no distractions. If this goes well maybe I should make all Friday's internet free. Really, if you send any important e-mails on a Friday they really can wait until Monday, right?

And maybe, just maybe, I'm going to sneak ahead on the word count . . . .

Goals

It's not quite InaDWriMo yet and I see my goals for November have to be changed.
I'm still committed to writing 600 words per day but let's evaluate these goals again.

1. Finish manuscript "1" to send to coauthors by Nov.9th.
I forgot that I'm sending samples away for analysis because we decided not to submit the short communication with the really exciting data but go ahead and make a 'complete' paper, which will take longer to get published but likely make a greater impact. There were a few samples that still needed more data-which I wasn't planning on doing in my dissertation. So I'll need to wait for that data before I progress on that one.
Doing this will also make the next paper "3" a less complicated manuscript.
2. Write 600 words per day on manuscript "3"
Still planning on doing this. I collected more data here in dissertation town and can't wait to analyze it.
3. Create goal for manuscript "2" once received back from coauthor.
Yep still waiting for this.

NEW GOAL
I thought I was going to be able to resubmit a paper, let's call is paper "0" before I left dissertation town, but yet again, more data and new analysis of the model!

I feel very productive here in dissertation town and it's been nice to be part of a scientific community again. I go back on Friday, hopefully the next three days will be equally productive.


New blog

I created this blog so I could join InaDWriMo 2007.
I also thought this would be a good place to write down my thoughts, keep track of my dissertation progress, and stay in touch with friends and family.

As for my writing challenge, I've come up with three goals for the month of November. I'm not in the contest to win but like the idea of keeping myself accountable.
I have three manuscripts I'm working on, two that are in the final stages and one that is more like a verbose outline.

Goal 1. Finish manuscript 1 to sent to coauthors by Nov.9th.
Goal 2. Write 600 words per day on manuscript 3.
Goal 3. Create goal for manuscript 2 once received back from coauthor.

My writing month won't officially begin until Nov 5th since I need to go back to dissertation town this saturday for 1 baby shower, 2 talks I'm giving, 3 (?) days of lab work and as much interaction with my adviser as possible. We have a manuscript that was accepted with major revisions, of which, those major revisions should have been completed by now.

For those not aware I currently live in husband's job town. We moved here in July after he finished his dissertation from "dissertation town" and received a Post Doctoral position here. *Note he started a year before me so it makes sense I'm a year behind.
My adviser is being very accommodating by letting me finish my dissertation out of state.

I'll try to keep things here fairly anonymous. Although I'm not too worried about anyone finding my blog I've heard about bad stories about bosses, coworkers or students reading peoples blogs and becoming upset.

Ok-thanks for reading. My blog won't be updated too much until writing month begins.